Thursday, March 11, 2010

Relationships. Marriage that is.

I have been thinking about them alot. Alot, alot. Relationships between a married man and his wife, between them and their children. What it all means? What are we supposed to learn from them?

Being in our 9th year of marriage, it is getting "tough." Tough in that, there are no more rose colored lenses. Tough in that, it's hard to find time together. Just the 2 of us. Things that used to be just so "easy", with life and all our obligations, are not so "easy" anymore. It makes it hard to take time for each other. Time that needs to be together. Time by ourselves, out and about, laughing, eating, walking hand in hand, or whatever and however a specific couple enjoy doing this.

We used to make it a point to go out at least once a month. That was years ago though. Since having our baby, who is almost one, I think we have gone out just ourselves once. And I fought that one pretty bad. It was that far away, Avatar trip the he HAD to go on and see in IMAX and 3D. And you know what?? It was so great to spend the much needed time together and without interruption. (ie, phones going off, children needing attention, you know all that stuff.) We go out and do alot of things with our families, immediate and extended, and do girls night out, and boys time, but just him and I, me and him, is where it's been neglected. Not really intentionally either.

(Ok, it's been twice. I forgot about this wedding we attended together sans children. )

I am going to try and make it a priority again, now that are baby is bigger and not so dependant to go out. I use all the excuses- we don't have a babysitter, babysitters are so expensive. If you find something fun and cheap to do, then by the time you've paid someone to watch your kids, it's not so much a "cheap date". Though I don't think any of them are real reasons for us, or valid. Well, ok maybe they are. But they are just excuses. And we can't have excuses anymore. We just need to get out. Period. Even if it's just a drive for an hour together, in the car, to talk or listen to music. Just something.

I'm curious to know what others do, that have been in their relationship for a long time, ( 10 plus years or close to that) to keep connected, and outgoing. Do you just put it in stone? Set the date and do it? is it more random? or have you fallen into the same trap that we have? Just busy with life and if you have a free moment, you just want to sit and veg?

Share your thoughts with me if you are so inclined. I need ideas??

I'm thinking I want to do every other month where I am in charge, and then he is in charge and so forth, and we have to agree to do whatever the other one comes up with. Then hopefully we are both getting to do what we want and maybe not want, but are compromising.

1 comment:

Dana said...

Mine are really simple but we have a few shows we actually both like and watch them together after the boys goto bed. We also go for a lot of walks when the wether is nice, and although the boys are with us, they are pretty much in the ditches looking for frogs, so it leaves dh and I time to talk and just be out of the house, regardless of how much money we currently have.

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Trying to savor the little moments in our lives that make the memories.